For a long time, I thought that I was crazy. Although an unsubstantiated diagnosis, my emotions seemed volatile so at the very least, this made me the craziest of the sane. I tried everything to turn the crazy off, but nothing seemed to help: medications (prescription and herbal), self-help books, tapes and etc. You name it, I tried it.
(Dedicated to all those who have ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder)
One question that I’m often asked is when did I first realize that I had OCD? Interestingly, from an early age, I had been achingly aware that I handled my fears differently from my peers. Unknowingly, I had been working on components of my anxiety disorder ever since then- awareness grows as a person grows. Understanding the depth and complexities took over a decade but it was in college that I was professionally diagnosed.
I was asked recently about body image and how I handled this issue. It was strange because at first, I drew a blank. Of course, I have body issues. I was a woman, after all. It was practically our birth right to be insecure. But, I’ve observed that men were just as affected as us so I decided to sit on the subject, mulling it over.
I have always had a deep passion for reading. Starting young, I’d soak up every type of fiction that my school and city library carried. Initially, I held a safe distance from the characters in my novels, but as I got older, I distinctly remember becoming emotionally invoked by certain personality types, particularly, the “know-it-all.” I would scoff and roll my eyes at the character. It seemed completely natural to be put off by this behavior.